Cowboys & Aliens

With a concept as comical as the one on display in the blockbuster dud Cowboys & Aliens (based on a comic, too!), it's fair to expect that the movie might have something resembling a sense of humour. Or at least be aware that such a thing exists. But sadly, that's too much to ask of this tiresome flick that spends most of its running time dragging its feet and acting like what this concept really needs is some half-baked family-oriented drama. It appears that director Jon Favreau is attempting a straight-faced western (good idea!) about what happens when a bunch of lame aliens show up and start picking fights (okay, that straight-faced thing doesn't sound like such a good idea anymore).

This blatant melding of genres needs to be fun and imaginative and silly enough to justify the employment of such a wacky B-movie setup, but instead it's just really damn serious. To which I ask, uh, seriously? The decision to abandon comedy and explore this idea in as dull a manner as possible wouldn't be quite so frustrating if Favreau were actually able to make a competent western flick. And for about five minutes, that's exactly what he does. The opening minutes of the movie are interesting and intriguing as they introduce us to protagonist Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig), who has just awoken in the desert with no memory and a funky alien bracelet strapped to his wrist.

This disquieting, mysterious scene feels pretty western-y and it deftly delivers a few puzzle pieces that are worth being a bit curious about. Then Jake rides into town, where we meet some irritating supporting characters. Things are a bit shaky at this point, but all bets aren't off quite yet. The movie is morphing into a weaker western, but no great harm has been committed. And then the aliens show up in their little flying machines and the life is almost instantaneously drained from the movie. It's suddenly flat and flavourless and ugly and still so damn serious.

The movie's first major action sequence is a chaotic collision of hokey special effects and overzealous editing. Everything is so flashy and heavily cut that I'm somewhat unsure of what the hell was exactly going on. I can only confirm that none of it is funny. Nor is any of it fun. It's just a drab exercise in going through the motions. What happened to the Favreau who, along with cinematographer Matthew Libatique, created such thrilling set pieces in the first Iron Man? Even Iron Man 2, another collaboration of theirs, featured good action sequences, even if the movie was a bit of a bloated mess.

This time around, it's strictly business with the expensive sequences. There's no creativity or imagination at work here, so we have to settle for clumsy scenes involving CGI aliens flying or running while men on horseback fire six-shooters at them. That actually sounds like it should be geeky cool (well, minus the clumsy part), but it's sadly just a bore. It's tough to care about the fate of the characters when the people telling the story seem so dimly disinterested. The actors give us little reason to be engaged, as well, even though Craig's wiry frame still houses enough brawny charisma to light up the screen.

Supporting players fail to impress, even though lately absent contemporary screen legend Harrison Ford has a pretty big role. Ford's charm has dried up of late and his performances always relied heavily on that factor, so it's not too surprising that he shows up here in a bit of a daze. But knowing how much fun Ford can be (I still think he could have injected at least some of that all important ingredient into this flick), it remains an unfortunate experience watching him growl through such a stiff narrative. That he is joined by Sam Rockwell, who has also proven he can be very humorous and watchable, makes Ford's involvement all the more underwhelming.

Ford and Rockwell have exactly what this movie needs (a fun, silly, slightly exaggerated attitude to play off of Craig's steely stoicism), but they never use it. The movie is in desperate need of some comedy and it actually stars two guys who can, at least in some decent capacity, provide that. But instead, we have Rockwell standing around whining and Ford standing around grumbling. When you throw Olivia Wilde (the obligatory pretty woman in a role that could be played by a sock with lipstick) into the mix, you have another dull personality unable to liven up the proceedings. Wilde certainly fits the attractive bill, but her performance is greatly lacking.

There's nothing particularly entertaining about the aliens, either, so that pretty much lumps the two titular character groups into the same shoddy category. The creature design is nothing special, though I won't venture to call it completely horrible. It's just ridiculously uninspired. As characters, the aliens are just lumps that are there to get in the way. They're interchangeable masses of extra-terrestrial flesh that would be more at home in a repetitive video game than a movie. Their motive for coming to our planet is silly enough to be welcome, but that's about all they have going for themselves. Beyond that, they're just a boring bunch of baddies waiting to get shot.

Without any desire to play and have fun in the process, Cowboys & Aliens is little more than a wasted opportunity. The concept deserves boisterous energy and a rich imagination, but ends up having to settle for dusty drama and a tonal nightmare. This is a tedious tumbleweed of a movie, one that rolls along with only a shady sense of what it wants to be and certainly no idea of how to get there. Favreau has crafted a belly-up blockbuster that sounds like a blast and manages to be anything but. It clearly doesn't want to be funny, which is a massive mistake given the comedic potential of the concept, but it fails so miserably at its actual goals as well. It isn't thrilling and the sentimental-minded drama isn't the least bit moving. Well, at least the characters are convinced. At the end of the movie, all of the cowboys, once a tough bunch, now seem a whole lot nicer, cheerier, and friendlier. Apparently, sometimes all you need to turn things around is a good old fashioned alien invasion. This movie, however, needs an intervention.