The Last Airbender

Currently on display at a theatre near you, courtesy of the latest cinematic stinker to bear the name of M. Night Shyamalan, is some of the most atrocious acting you're likely to see all year. How's that for a recommendation? This freak show of blockbuster proportions is The Last Airbender and it signals Shyamalan's first foray into the world of adaptation. Given his creative output as of late (all dreamed up in his continually decaying imagination), attempting to tell a story based on someone else's idea sounds like a pretty decent plan. But Shyamalan's problems run much deeper than the origin of his stories, as evidenced by the performances on display in this mess.

Based on the Nickelodeon cartoon series about a fantasy world in which four neighbouring tribes each represent a classical element and perform martial arts based on water, fire, earth, and air, The Last Airbender is more kid-oriented than the majority of Shyamalan's past work. He's reportedly stated that his kids are responsible for making him a fan of the show, which bears the full title of Avatar: The Last Airbender (the Avatar bit was dropped for obvious reasons). Perhaps he should have just stepped aside and given creative control to his children.

Considering that his screenplay is dumbed down to the point of being seemingly geared towards fetuses, the kids couldn't do much worse. Every line of dialogue is painfully obvious and eerily contrived. Characters routinely spew exposition until they run out of things to say, during which they basically repeat themselves until it's time for fresh exposition to be shared. I cannot begin to explain how many times a character follows up one line with a simplistically altered reiteration right after. You could miss two-thirds of what the characters say and still barely miss a meaningful beat.

Simply put, the screenplay is junk and it's a wonder that Shyamalan still gets paid to pen stuff like this. I guess a few good ideas and some crafty execution really does go a long way. And it's important to note that Shyamalan hasn't completely lost his ability to communicate the narrative through striking visuals. As bad as the script and acting are in The Last Airbender (and as much as "bad" doesn't begin to cover their shortcomings), the movie does feature some inventive imagery.

The production design is fun in the way that it realizes fortresses and seafaring ships in terms of the different elements. One collection of Water people occupy an icy stronghold bathed in chilly blue hues, while the villainous Fire nation travel the world in angular metal boats that vomit ash from their smokestacks. It's all quite easy on the eyes and Shyamalan receives a significant amount of visual help from cinematographer Andrew Lesnie, who knows a thing or two (or three) about bringing fantasy worlds to life on the big screen (he previously photographed the Lord of the Rings trilogy).

Even the special effects are considerably accomplished, which should be expected from a movie carrying a hefty $150 million price tag. The martial arts mastery of the four elements requires a load of CGI to be cinematically realized, so there are many scenes of digital flames, ice shards, walls of earth, and even gusts of wind being utilized in combat. In these action sequences, Shyamalan mercifully showcases the effects and keeps the edits to a minimum. There's no heavy cutting going on here, which at least means the action is not painfully frustrating to watch.

While the creations comprised of pixels bypass the pain, it's a completely different story when it comes to those beings of flesh and blood. Since the world of The Last Airbender is stuffed with kids and the titular hero is a little boy in monk's clothing, Shyamalan already faced the daunting challenge of casting a bunch of children with little to no acting experience. But even considering the dearth of talented kid actors in Hollywood, the caliber of performance in this movie is mind-bendingly awful. The Last Airbender as enacted by the Pound Puppies would likely provide a more engaging emotional experience.

Every kid actor in the movie vacillates between a blank stare and a hokey attempt at looking seriously worried (or worriedly serious). 12-year-old Noah Ringer goes all bald and tattooed to play the hero of the story, a pint-sized reincarnation of the beloved Avatar who can supposedly control all four elements and bring peace to the world. This basically means that Ringer gets to swing a staff around and beat up a lot of bad guys, while also exhibiting a gentle emotional side that reminds us that he's still just a little kid saddled with a big responsibility. Well, at least his staff-twirling skills are up to par.

Whenever Ringer has to open his mouth to speak (or even when he's just trying to look cool and confident in the face of danger), the scene completely collapses around him. His acting skills are borderline nonexistent at this point and he has a long way to go before he can convincingly wear a young hero's skin. But it's not like Ringer is alone in his robotic approach to non-acting. Nicola Peltz, whose participation in this movie was so important to Shyamalan that he reportedly refused to make the movie without her, looks she's on the verge of suffering a comically enhanced nervous breakdown the entire time.

Peltz is kind of likable in a sweet and innocent sort of way, but she also represents awkwardness personified. She plays a Waterbender kid who discovers the missing Avatar in a big frozen sphere near her igloo-spotted village. Peltz's character, along with her older brother Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), joins Ringer's Avatar on his journey to unite the various nations and simultaneously kick the crap out of some Fire nation baddies. Along the way, they meet people from other elemental disciplines and lots of CGI floats around the screen while the kids research ways to look and sound more like cardboard cutouts.

The median age in The Last Airbender cast may skew quite young, but the movie does feature a few adults in speaking roles and they fare no better. Aasif Mandvi appears as a Fire nation commander who is supposed to be one of the movie's main villains, but ends up being one of the flick's biggest jokes. Mandvi seems to be dreaming up possibilities of how to spend his paycheque during his many scenes dictated by glares and long, laughable pauses. Dev Patel, of Slumdog Millionaire fame, is equally dreadful, screaming his lines and trying to ignore the creeping fear that his acting career is likely about to vanish almost as quickly as it began.

So, what a surprise! M. Night Shyamalan has crafted another piece of crap. The guy's career is getting a little predictable. Sure, it's a kiddy piece of crap, which is slightly abnormal for the guy, even though he previously made the narcissistic mermaid fairytale flick Lady in the Water. But no matter the demographic his latest movie is aimed at, The Last Airbender represents another misstep for the once-celebrated filmmaker and it suffers from the same problems that have plagued him for years. It seems impossible that acting and writing this bad could actually make it to the big screen, but Shyamalan is all about defying our expectations.

In the spirit of faint praise, The Last Airbender is not quite as disastrous as Shyamalan's previous effort, the hilariously horrific thriller The Happening. That movie was an abomination. This one is slightly less ghastly, instead offering freak show-style entertainment in the form of abysmal acting and unforgivable writing. That approach, coupled with Shyamalan's trademark serious tone, could be perceived as disappointing and irritating, if only I weren't so busy laughing from start to finish.