Season of the Witch
Something witchy this way comes. And it's accompanied by hammy Nicolas Cage, juicily macabre makeup design, and some laughably rotten CGI effects. That's some pretty eclectic company, to say the least, and it allows the medieval fantasy flick Season of the Witch to attain a certain level of junky entertainment, while maintaining a faithful commitment to total crap. The pieces are in place for a chuckle-worthy B-movie adventure, complete with sloppy digital imagery and Nicolas Cage sporting long hair. For whatever reason, Cage only seems to extend his locks for the very dregs of his filmography (Con Air, Next, and Bangkok Dangerous all feature Cage with longer-than-usual hair), so Season of the Witch's poor quality is practically predictable.
Naturally, the story reeks of trashy charm. After hacking his way through a 14th century-set, Crusades-centric montage, Cage's warrior knight character Behman finds himself in inciting incident territory. Fed up with all the senseless killing in the name of the church, Behman and his buddy Felson (a fuzzy Ron Perlman) abandon their post and travel back to England, where they discover the gooey presence of the Bubonic Plague. They also discover that being labeled a deserter is frowned upon (okay, that wasn't much of a discovery) and it isn't long before they're forced to make a decision between facing punishment for their desertion or going on another dangerous trek for the church.
Since Cage and Perlman sitting in a jail cell does not a movie make, the characters choose the trek, which involves ensuring the transportation of a supposed witch (played with theatrical gusto by Claire Foy) to a monastery that houses a book where she can be destroyed. This witch is blamed for the arrival of the plague and getting rid of her is now top priority for the church. So Behman and Felson join a small band of men and set off on their adventure. But from the start of the journey, Behman questions the witch's, well, witchiness, wondering if she is actually just an innocent girl being used as an easy scapegoat.
This dilemma (guilty or innocent) is woven through the entire narrative, but director Dominic Sena is so quick to establish the boundaries of this world's fantastical allowance that the question (to witch or not to witch?) fails to hold much weight. There's something resembling a surprise, but it's handled with such ridiculous flair that it's more likely to be met with a laugh than a dropped jaw. Not that Sena seems to care. His direction is basic, simple, obvious, and he appears happy enough to provide little more than an occasional thrill on his journey towards the end credits.
That means Season of the Witch is pretty pedestrian stuff, even though it's still kind of fun at times. There's not much going on here, beyond a weak plot and a few passable set pieces. And yet this creaky piece of junk is punctuated by a few enjoyable moments of concrete conflict, such as when the group has to cross a rickety suspension bridge and then later face off against a pack of snarling wolves. These scenes are relatively entertaining on their own, since the locations are attractive and a foggy forest is always worth checking out.
But poor pacing and a formulaic script ultimately dismantle this movie, which isn`t exactly a complicated procedure. Season of the Witch is silly from top to bottom and long-haired Cage demands that the movie be nothing more than a hokey exercise in cinematic hocus-pocus. Despite a few fun moments and some often impressive makeup work, the movie has little to offer beyond the occasional snicker. Sena gets the movie from point A to point B without completely ruining the entire experience, but there isn't much meat left on this Witch's bones by the end.
A slapdash conclusion is awkwardly executed and the aroma of cheese is overpowering in the movie's final few minutes. Cage and Perlman keep the onscreen energy level from dipping too low and there is a fantastically funny moment where Perlman head-butts a CGI demon (easily a highlight of the movie, which probably says a lot about what this flick has to offer), but the flimsy script and Sena's unimaginative direction send a death blow to the movie. This Witch may be in season, but that doesn't mean it's a welcome arrival. Of course, Nicolas Cage's long hair foretold it.
